Sunday, July 20, 2008

Blah!

Blah!
Sunday night and nothing achieved. A great weekend but none of my list of jobs done. While I sit and ponder, the paperwork breeds around me like microscopic organisms that multiply into an enormous octopus which rises from the ocean to comsume me....
When will it ever stop and why does it have to be so complicated??? Why do people in large corporations never communicate with each other, instead delivering contradictory instructions to pooor confused customers, never once responding to the questions you actually asked.
Blah!

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

The Queen of Avoidance

I am nearing the end of my holidays in which I hoped to be "really productive".

As I look at my "to do list", I see there have been minimal incursions into this enemy territory. What's more, the things that in the past I would avoid doing have now become my replacement avoidance activities. How bad is that??

All year I have dreaded doing my father's paperwork so much that I think I would have entered a burning building to rescue Tony Abbott rather than face the forest of paper which is DP. (Dad's Paperwork). The more I would avoid this, the more the pile of paper would grow until finally I would have to make channels through the stacks of unopened enveloppes to be able to walk around my place. How much mail can one man receive?

As I try to dominate this A4 monster, to wrestle it into some sort of managable proportion, to lay some sort of order to the nine or so piles that decorate the spare bed (this constitues order for me), I become conscious that I am actually now using this as an excuse to avoid another "too hard basket" task which looms over me.

For my job I must complete my "pedagogical licence". As a government employee, this must be completed in my own time of course and I had reserved this holidays to make a really solid start on this rather time consuming project.

How much have I completed, you ask?

Absolutely nothing, zippo, zilch......
I know, I know - it's just that I can't face starting it.

Promise to self - START NOW!!! WITHOUT FAIL!

Yes, yes I will.

Well hang on a moment - I just have to bank some cheques for dad - and there is a movie I have to watch which is due back today......

I will definitely start..... later.

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Meisters of the Universe

Hello All,
this is my first blog!
I was inspired to start blogging after a Sunday afternoon spent at the German Club, where I was with a friend for her birthday.

Here, in this quaintly Bavarian location, I was assailed by a number of octogenarian nazies and a selection of international oddballs who felt that I would inevitably fall to their irrestible charms.
Being the polite person I am, and being at a birthday bash, I thought it was unseemly to express my real reactions to these sexually overdriven, overconfident yet attractively challenged Meisters of the Universe. Instead, my real reactions are contained within these pages.

The adventure began the moment I entered the Chicken Dancing establishment. Aware I was being appraised like a lamb chop at the Annual Meat Fancier's Dinner, I approached my friend in greeting. Not two seconds later it became obvious that I was clearly in the blue ribbon category as I was invited to join some men and their wives, in the German Swingers version of the Finnish Sauna ie, naked free for all.

Clearly, they I felt I should be flattered by their offer. How could any red blooded woman resist the call of the flabby ayran felsh, the receding hair lines fast being overtaken by encroaching bald deserts, the saggy, pouchy eyes and salivating lips.

How could I resist, I hear you ask?

Mustering all my will power I managed to fight off the temptation to say that it would be a cold day in hell (pretty much your swinging sauna scenario really) that I would enter such a steamy trap.

INSTEAD, I politely declined. After an initially mystified response at this surprising knockback,
they gave me the benefit of thinking it over -for about 5 seconds - before they asked again, convinced I was either mad or maybe just being coy and coquetish. Amazingly, I once again declined.
After some persistance on their behalf, I agreed to this outrageous proposal if I could have my male friend with me

Looks of stunned horror!! What could I be thinking, poor mad Australian woman.

"Ah, then sadly I must once again decline this once in a life time opportunity."

Fortunately, the rest of the evening continued without too much interest from the Ms of the U and a mostly pleasant time was had.

But, then just as we were leaving, an ominous shadow appeared in my peripheral vision and swiftly moved to right in front of my face.


"I am leaving now, my dear, unless you can think of a reason why I should stay..." hoarsely whispered an aging Bavarain Love God.

"I can't think of a single one!" I replied.


Please don't think I have tickets on myself... I am a normal middle aged woman of average attractiveness. I do not think I am above the attentions of any individual or group of people.

But, what amazes me is the aggressive assault on unsuspecting women and the utter self belief of some men - of all races. Rejection does not phase them - indeed it surprises them.

What are your views on this???